Down to My Highest Weight

One month ago, on June 3, I wrote about my "highest" weight--the weight that represented a number I just couldn't imagine going over...until I did, the weight that I left in the dust (in a bad way) probably over ten years ago. And I promised myself that I would blog about getting DOWN to that weight when the day arrived. Well, the day has arrived. Actually, a few days ago.

So now I'm down to my "highest" weight! Sort of reminds me of "Back to the Future". The trick, now, is to not let this freak me out; to keep going, doing what I've been slowly learning to do: eat what I want, when I'm hungry , eating my food consciously and stopping when I'm full. In other words, I am continuing to eat intuitively.

One of the beauties of intuitive eating is that I don't have to really plan ahead. This is extremely important to my lifestyle. There are times of the year when I travel a lot. A day out of town here, three days away there: it all adds up to being away from home a lot. So I have learned to make pleasant yet sane choices, no matter what the menu offers. Here's an example:

Last week, I had to have breakfast twice at a restaurant called the "Golden Griddle". I don't know if it exists in the States or just Canada. It's our version of IHOP. The menu was heavy on bacon and eggs and of course, pancakes. On Day 1, I did have bacon and eggs, but only ate what I felt I needed to eat and left the rest. On Day 2, I ordered pancakes. The smallest order was three, good-sized ones. I ate one, with syrup (I've never felt the need to drown my pancakes in syrup, fortunately). As I was eating, my ex-fashion model colleague arrived and I offered her the other two. She had one, no syrup (God forbid she should exceed her current BMI, which I suspect is around 15--no kidding). I had a bite more of my second pancake, but that was it.

The route that I have found for losing weight is truly the right one for me. Just as I would probably be extremely unhappy working a steady job (as a freelancer, it's often feast of famine, OMG, what an appropriate image!!), I am also constitutionally incapable of following a standard diet. As the years went by, and as the pounds crept up, I just felt angrier and angrier at the idea of dieting. My relationship with food was becoming increasingly confrontational and I felt like a victim of my own metabolism, height, health, whatever...

Today is just a point in time. And a number on the scale. I don't know what the day holds for me food-wise, although I do know we'll be going to a restaurant tonight with my sister-in-law and her family, who are making a flying visit to Toronto today and leaving tomorrow evening. I'm not particularly worried about making the "right" choice on the menu. I do try to eat healthy foods, but that's it.

I realize that I'm in the minority in the weight-loss blogosphere, somewhere in limbo between the dieters and the fat acceptance people, but that's sort of been the story of my life both personally and professionally. I'm a hard one to pin down. I guess my road in life involves just learning to be me--a calmer, healthier me!

P.S. Happy 4th of July to my American friends! Hope you're having good weather and a great time!