Monday, October 26, 2009

I've Always Been Fat (Or at Least Thought I Was)

I have always felt there is a difference in approach and attitude to weight loss depending on whether you're going back to your previous non-heavy self or aiming for something completely new.

I was always a chubby child--never grossly overweight, but definitely chubby. I grew into a chubby, non-athletic teenager. I hated gym, not because I didn't like to move, but because I was just not a gifted (or even decent) athlete. Knowing that you will always be chosen last in team sports does not make you look forward to gym class.

I never ever looked anywhere near the norm: no flat stomach or long, lean legs for me! The fact is, though, that many people--even when their weight is perfectly fine--just don't fit the norm. Objectively speaking, there have been times in my life when my weight was perfectly acceptable. But I have always had a bit of a paunch, even at a good weight for me. Of course, when I've been at a higher weight, the paunch is bigger. Bottom line, though: the paunch is always there and believing that I'm going to get rid of it without a tummy tuck is just wishful thinking.

So I have two questions:

How do you imagine yourself in a slimmer body, when you don't really feel you've ever had that body?

And perhaps even more importantly, are you trying to love your body as it is now and as it will be when you get down to the weight you want--even if you still don't look like a fashion model?


  1. I have no illusion that I will ever look like a fashion model!

    Even when I was well-built, I felt big. The truth is that I am big. I was comparing myself to the slender, petite girls around me and felt like an Amazon. I did not appreciate that my stature was beautiful too.

    Now, after studying the pictures from my youth, I can happily picture myself as strong and beautiful and this is what I'm working towards. Part of that work is appreciating my body right now.

  2. When I was younger, I was always fit looking. However, it was deceptive, as I was not athletically gifted. I also always felt I was fat. It's only now as an almost 40-year-old that I realize what I had.

    I will never have that body again. After two children and carrying excess weight, my body is forever changed. I've got no choice but to accept what I have. I can improve upon it by losing another 20 lbs., but that will not get rid of the sagging skin on my belly.

    So I remind myself of all the things my body has done for me. It's merely a vessel. When I see a hot chick and think "why can't I have that?" I then remind myself that we're all headed for the same eventual decline. Better to focus on events & other people. Easier said than done, but I try.

  3. This post really speaks to me. I don't have a tummy, but I have large legs. Ugh. Never been able to wear short dresses, never will, no matter what. It is my hope that I will be more accepting of this when I reach goal this time. I reached goal as a 20-something (when I really only had imaginary weight to lose) and thought I would be rewarded with a perfect body, but I wasn't. Hope I've learned a LOT since then!

  4. Your post spoke to me too. In school I was always been a few pounds heavier than the other girls in my class but back then, it wasn't such an issue to us (at least to me). I always felt pretty anyway. In college my campus was so spread out that the walking kept me trim. I never gained the infamous 10 or 15. My weight yo-yo'd after marriage.

  5. I can imagine myself as slimmer than I am - as I was 4 years ago - but even then I was still rounded and curvy. I know I'll never be skinny, slender, narrow - my physical frame means that just won't happen. I also know that my body stores weight roughly from hips up to breasts - my arms and legs are always fairly slim, whatever my overall weight. So I try to accept and work with the genetic code I was given.

  6. This is a great post and very thought-provoking.

    I think part of the problem is that we are fed the Barbie image too much by the evil media.

    I now look back at old photos of myself where I was totally convinced I was fat and horrible. I wasn't.

    I too have always had a rounded tummy, I now realise that is perfectly normal for a fertile healthy woman and OK. I really wish I had known this then.

    I am so pleased with what my body can do and how well it has repaired itself that I love it no matter what, lol!