I do not have a single close friend (women) who has not suffered from either a)molestation/rape during childhood or b) rape during adulthood, or c) both. Not. One.
This is no coincidence. One of the most painful things I experienced teaching college students was having to read the girl's/women's essays about their young lives; and the oppression they shared (bared on paper) was too much (too painful) for me to witness sometimes.
The young men didn't understand. They could only say, "But what about us? Look at all the ways we are oppressed." Not until we help the men feel the impact of female oppression on the men's lives will they begin to see the horrible prices both sexes pay, for the privileges of being born male in this world.
The men in most cases marry us or date us. Or. We are their mothers, their sisters, their daughters, their friends, their bosses, their teachers...do they seriously think our oppression does not impact their lives in any significant way? Do they think we can simply love them without fear? Love them without dependency issues? Care for them without an underlying rage/resentment so deep, so darkly hidden that we can barely stand to face that part of ourselves?
Until men understand the true price men pay for women's oppression, they will not understand, will not want to change anything.
And, by the way, my own eating disorders starting with anorexia in grade school and ending with compulsive overeating in my fifties (to the point of weighing over 300 lbs) was directly related to my oppression as a girl/woman in this culture. No doubt in my mind. Not. One. Doubt.
What a powerful statement. I admire and commend you for making it.
I have always considered myself a feminist. I know that "feminist" now has negative connotations, but for me it is a word that represents an extremely necessary, positive concept.
I must say, though, that perhaps I have been very lucky (spits over shoulder to keep away the evil eye): I have never experienced a sexual assault. I have definitely been subjected to psychological manipulation because I am a woman, but physical assault, no. I hope (spits again over shoulder yet again to avoid the evil eye) that this remains true for the rest of my life.
However, in the course of my work, I have heard enough to last a lifetime. Yesterday, on international women's day, I was at a conference on female survivors of war. The things that women experience are unspeakable.
Way cool! I just watched this video on another favorite blog of mine
ReplyDeletehttp://uppitywoman08.wordpress.com/
(politics & social commentary, NOT weight-related! ;-)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletesad. i made a smart ass comment and then deleted it...If it's happy international women's day, this wasn't a very happy message.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's not a happy message. Still a lot of work to be done.
ReplyDeleteI do not have a single close friend (women) who has not suffered from either a)molestation/rape during childhood or b) rape during adulthood, or c) both. Not. One.
ReplyDeleteThis is no coincidence. One of the most painful things I experienced teaching college students was having to read the girl's/women's essays about their young lives; and the oppression they shared (bared on paper) was too much (too painful) for me to witness sometimes.
The young men didn't understand. They could only say, "But what about us? Look at all the ways we are oppressed." Not until we help the men feel the impact of female oppression on the men's lives will they begin to see the horrible prices both sexes pay, for the privileges of being born male in this world.
The men in most cases marry us or date us. Or. We are their mothers, their sisters, their daughters, their friends, their bosses, their teachers...do they seriously think our oppression does not impact their lives in any significant way? Do they think we can simply love them without fear? Love them without dependency issues? Care for them without an underlying rage/resentment so deep, so darkly hidden that we can barely stand to face that part of ourselves?
Until men understand the true price men pay for women's oppression, they will not understand, will not want to change anything.
And, by the way, my own eating disorders starting with anorexia in grade school and ending with compulsive overeating in my fifties (to the point of weighing over 300 lbs) was directly related to my oppression as a girl/woman in this culture. No doubt in my mind. Not. One. Doubt.
Rebecca
Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful statement. I admire and commend you for making it.
I have always considered myself a feminist. I know that "feminist" now has negative connotations, but for me it is a word that represents an extremely necessary, positive concept.
I must say, though, that perhaps I have been very lucky (spits over shoulder to keep away the evil eye): I have never experienced a sexual assault. I have definitely been subjected to psychological manipulation because I am a woman, but physical assault, no. I hope (spits again over shoulder yet again to avoid the evil eye) that this remains true for the rest of my life.
However, in the course of my work, I have heard enough to last a lifetime. Yesterday, on international women's day, I was at a conference on female survivors of war. The things that women experience are unspeakable.
Fantastic video link. Thank-you for sharing. I wish things had progressed further than they have for women.
ReplyDelete