Monday, February 22, 2010


Psychology tells us that the greatest source of stress in the workplace is a lack of control over one's work. This describes to a T my work. I work in a very niche market, so it's hard to describe from the outside. Suffice to say that once the contract is signed, everything is out of my control. Amazingly, things work out relatively well most of the time, but the feeling of powerlessness--repeated contract after contract, year after year--is starting to overwhelm me.

Of course, the kicker is that I work in a well-paid profession. I guess that even though people make it incredibly hard for me to do my work in a credible fashion, they figure that they're paying top dollar so I might as well shut up, do the job (as well as possible, under often impossible conditions) and cash the pay cheque. Today, I felt like a high-class whore. You pay her, you do what you want with her. I'm sure these women are even more used and abused than I could ever be, but the parallel still seem sound to me.

I've been vaguely thinking about changing professions for several years now. I still don't feel anywhere near finding a solution, but I'm going to have to do something--either to calm my nerves (and the unnerving, yet frequent feeling that I want to rip someone's throat out) or to get out while I still can. I just have to find a different way to make a decent living. Easier said than done.


  1. In Hospice Nursing, the end is certain.
    But the way the patient gets there, is why the Nurse is there - to help control the symptoms of a situation we cannot "fix."
    In a perfect world, we wouldn't need Nurses!

    I hope you find something that is more satisfying, so maybe the
    "risk to reward" ratio will be better in your favour.

    Good insight about the high-class whore.
    People talk to stray dogs better than they talk to Nurses.
    Back into the fray we go!

  2. I think no matter what your career,this can happen when it becomes more about the golden handcuffs than the sense of value and being ourselves.

    I often times find myself in the same boat. That is why, right now, I find interests outside my work life to fulfill my sense of value. It's sometimes the only way I can get through the day.

  3. Golden handcuffs-how true!

    Yes, friends, I'm going to have to find some food for my soul outside of work! No dieting soul is starving right now.

  4. Hi Wendy. Techniques of self calming are very difficult to implement in the situations in which you need them the most. Bummer!

    I hope you find a good solution.

    Bearfriend xx

  5. I am in exactly the same situation. A job I lost interest in many years ago that pays me really well. I have thought about many options, including my ideal career, but I really enjoy the lifestyle the money gives me...

  6. I too feel your pain. I can't complain too much though because I work four day weeks and I am off for nine weeks this summer, plus I will have 15 more days off whenever I want.

    I think I am going to have to start filling up my soul outside of work as well.

  7. Hi - this post particularly spoke to me! Golden handcuffs can be dispiriting, as I know. There are some interesting career shifter websites out there, also can be worth thinking in financial terms (what is the minimum you need to earn) to help focus your mind? I am struggling with the same issues so you have all my sympathy.