Today, I was feeling rather glum. No, I haven't weighed myself, but I don't feel like anything is happening. My clothes are not falling off my body from all the weight I've lost and I still would psychologically kill for a piece of really gooey chocolate cake. I'm a good girl and follow the rules and yet and yet I'm probably just losing a couple of ounces a week, if that.
I had some errands to run today and made sure I walked rather than took the car. All through my walk my inner voice was going on about how I can't lose weight, that I'm so short I can't eat anything and expect to lose weight (my acupuncturist's assistant calculated that just to KEEP my weight steady, I can't eat any more than 1275 calories a day--the best that I can do is just maintain the high weight that I am at)...and on, and on, and on.
It was such a beautiful day, though very cold and blustery, and I felt very low.
I did listen to my McKenna CD today, and it's worth repeating that McKenna does talk about the speed at which one loses weight. He insists on the fact that you lose weight at the speed that's right for you. It's just hard when you're at the extreme end of S..... L.... O... W....
When I got home, I started listening to the first episode of the British version of I Can Make You Thin. (BTW, thanks to the person who shall remain nameless who told me where to find the shows on the Internet!). I didn't have time to listen to the entire show, but what I did hear made me feel better.
I went to a restaurant tonight with a colleague (I'm yet again out of town for work!) and had a Caesar salad, a half a glass of wine and a few sips of soup. I just couldn't eat any more. This is good. I'm sure that before starting the McKenna program, I would have eaten everything on my plate and ordered a cup of tea with sugar and then eaten the lemon--all to make myself feel better about not having dessert.
So yes, this is good. All I have to do is to learn to count my weight loss in fractions of a pound, rather than in pounds or kilos. Tough, really tough.
Geez, it would be cool to be 5 feet tall!
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