Monday, May 30, 2011
Why So Long?
I have been wanting/not wanting to write something for quite a while now. What follows is not an excuse, nor an apology, it's just how I feel.
I can actually divide the answer to "why so long?" into a few discrete categories:
1) My back. It's been bothering me since the end of February. My, how time flies. There are rare days when I feel OK, but mainly I feel like I'm on the edge of the precipice. I've been there before. It involves pain more deeply frightening than childbirth, a visit to the ER, heavy drugs and desperately praying to a higher being whose existence I am not at all certain of that I will actually get better. I have been teetering on this precipice since February. It's no use going to the doctor since this pain, in of itself, is absolutely trivial and doctors have no idea what to do. I'm scared because I've seen things deteriorate VERY, VERY quickly.
2) Work. Yes, this is a good thing. My revenues are down as compared to last year, which was down as compared to 2009. Since the summer is basically a work desert, it's better to take what comes now.
3) All I want to write about is how most people are fooling themselves completely about losing weight and maintaining that weight loss. Yes, yes, there are outliers. And more power to you if you're one of them. But when I look at the gonzo "starvers" out there, well, it just depresses me. It may take some time, but when the weight regain hits them, that ton of bricks is going to be mighty painful. The more I read and the more I reflect, the more I just want to encourage healthy eating, in reasonable quantities accompanied by physical activity suited to one's level of ability and to one's life and just leave it at that.
I'm no poster child for anything right now. I'm just trying to keep my morale up and keep on keeping on.
Good thoughts are gratefully accepted.
P.S. Just in case you're wondering: this is a picture of my boyos from 2007. We were visiting a friend's farm in Connecticut. My red headed boy now has short hair. My dirty blond headed son's hair is now almost down to his waist! Time flies. Nice picture. Good times.