In November, I celebrate a few "anniversaries".
My mother passed away in 2000 on Nov. 11. Oct. 29 was the day of her passing on the Jewish calendar. I lit the traditional candle for her (the "yohrzeit"--or "year time"). This special candle burns for 24 hours in remembrance. I think of my mother with love and appreciation. Yes, there were some difficult times, but as the years go by, these memories take up less and less space in my mind and, for the most part, I remember her for the kind, loving and deeply good person that she was.
On Nov. 18, I'll be celebrating the 9th anniversary of my hip replacement. That was replacement number 1--the total hip disaster. Replacement number 2 followed in August of 2004. The outcome was better, but it by no means yielded the amazing results that many people had led me to believe would be mine. Well, I'm walking, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Nov. 17 is a non-anniversary: that was the day in 2011 (one year ago) that I was supposed to get a new knee. My crazy thyroid nixed that, and even though my thyroid is now splendidly under control, I have yet to re-schedule the operation. My hip experience has left me a bit skeptical. On the grateful front, my knee is no worse than it was last year. Once again: I'm still walking, which in my books is a miracle.
November is also the month that my thyroid made me go pretty crazy (OK, let's use the technical term: "bat-sh*t crazy") last year. It has taken me pretty much the whole year to crawl out of that hole, thanks to thyroid medication, meditation, psychotherapy and my GP's favourite: tincture of time. My gratefulness comment here: I feel like I dodged a bullet by avoiding taking anti-depressants. Had I gone the anti-depressant route, I might have found myself considerably heavier and fighting to wean myself off some very tenacious medication. Yes, I'm grateful.
Ah, November.
Bad and Getting Worse
1 day ago
I'm having a hard time grasping the fact that it has been a year since your mind warp...LOL...the mental blip (in comparison to my brain avalanches) that sent you searching for better solutions to various challenges in your life. GOOD FOR YOU!!! It's understandable to feel grateful. But. I believe you have many good reasons to feel PROUD, too, for fighting so hard to regain equilibrium and to enhance your life in ways you had not previously attempted. Again, GOOD FOR YOU! A lot of folks might have spent the year whining--you whimpered and sobbed for a brief time, a normal reaction to difficult and scary conditions--but mostly you went into ACTION! Gosh darn it, I AM VERY IMPRESSED!
ReplyDeleteNow, about your lovely mother...some anniversaries are painful yet sweet. I'm so glad your mother was part of your life for as long as she was...I'm glad she gave you so much from within her to share with the world. In a way, a part of her lives on in you. I know she would be proud of you, her beautiful child.
Much affection and love,
hopefulandfree (RNegade)
Thank you for your beautiful comment!
ReplyDeleteTotally off topic except to mimic your own feelings of gratitude for avoiding treatments that may have proved more harmful than helpful: my own expression of gratitude here is to you for adding another brilliant thinker and writer to your blog roll; I am referring of course to "Eathropology" by Adele Hite, MPH RD, a skilled analyst and resource guide to nutrition who underscores and highlights the complexities of science and politics WITHOUT making me want to hurl my mouse through my computer screen and run screaming from the room. (No small feat.) Sometimes Ms. Hite even makes me LOL for reals. Her optimism in the midst of cynical forces of oppression reminds me of some of the great critical social theorists of our age. It takes guts (courage) to maintain hope and to keep participating in the game with the intention of creating win-win results for key players. My hat is off to her---and to YOU for featuring her blog here for your readers to easily access. Nice call NewMe! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm thrilled that you noticed my new addition to the blogroll. I think I should actually do a post specifically on my blogroll since I believe I've got some stellar blogsters listed!
DeleteGee, NewMe, since we're still having this discussion, and since it is still November...down here in the U.S. we're approaching Thanksgiving (let us not forget the...ugh, real tragedies behind that historic celebration, but in the interest of time and sanity...)and I want to say thanks to you for your blog and friendship and your blogroll, which are often so inspiring to me!
ReplyDeleteThe previously mentioned "Eathropology" just gets better and better (and what an amazing view of compassion in action from one dynamic person...who, like you and others, keep showing me that an individual human being can make a real difference, over time), and the recent interview with Shani Raviv ("Weightless") is beautiful and deeply moving to read. It takes courage to share one's struggle for meaning.
These blog sites and others can seem so small and insignificant, in the big scheme of social changes required to move our species forward, but...wow...they make a difference when I'm feeling alone and isolated with my own crap. I forget simple stuff, like it's okay to enjoy small, personal victories during our mutual struggles to share in healing our planet's people and other living creatures. It's okay to feel okay, even when I know others are still hurting.
Yes, it would be lovely to read your thoughts on your blogroll members (just a couple or 3 years ago or so, btw, I doubt I'd even heard mention of the term "blogroll"--or "blog" for that matter...so weird what changes arise, and what remains). I find it amazing, still, now, today, for instance, that I stumbled onto Debra's incredible blog and started following the discussions which she somehow nurtured into life-giving pieces of art. I'm still in awe of people like her, Adele, you... It still feels surreal sometimes to have these conversations that reach back through, by now, years. And that extend into the future, perhaps with consequences none of us can ever really grasp.
Any way. Thanks again. Much to feel grateful for...much to take pleasure in witnessing--no matter how slowly or quickly it all develops over time...
I also have a heightened sense when it comes to dates. I have several during the year that I take pause for. Let's hope that THIS November proves to be nothing but peace and quiet for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ellen! Back atcha!
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