Fighting the Good Fight

It's amazing what can make you happy. Take now, for instance: I'm ecstatic to be sweating. I just finished a 16-minute workout on my elliptical trainer, having repeatedly upped the speed and resistance for a few seconds at a time throughout the workout. I was wearing my new knee brace and it felt pretty good. Of course now comes the real test: will my knee and hip complain? I know I have to be careful and increase my time on the machine by very small increments if I don't want to hurt my various arthritic and/or bionic joints, but I'm still going to let myself bask in the moment. At least a little bit!

I have a Tunturi elliptical trainer and I highly recommend this brand, especially if you're on the small side. A few weeks ago, I was at a hotel out of town and decided to try out the elliptical trainer in the gym. It was a Precor--a monster with all the bells and whistles--but literally so big that one stride on it sent my operated hip into paroxysms of fear. I switched to the treadmill. So, if you are looking for a nice little elliptical trainer that does the job, doesn't take up too much space and isn't too massive for those of us who are on the petite side, try a Tunturi. They also make awesome little stationary bikes. And BTW, I am neither a paid nor an unpaid Tunturi spokesperson--just a fan.

Yes, friends. As you can see, I'm trying to fight the good fight, getting myself into better shape than I've been in years while shedding a few pounds.

Here's one of the reasons why my attitude took a change for the better this year:

I think I've mentioned before that I have had zip luck with traditional hypnosis. A few years ago, I invested in hypnosis to help me lose weight. All I got was pissed off because of a) the poor grammar on the tapes and b) having a male hypnotist who kept saying how easy he found it to lose weight. Well duh, for men it's way easier and faster to lose weight than for women.

However, I am quite sure that the CD that came with Paul McKenna's book, "I Can Make You Thin", actually did insidiously work its way into my subconscious, at least in terms of exercise. I listened to the CD pretty much every day for a couple of months and the one message that I really latched onto was doing more exercise. McKenna doesn't bully or tell you how much to eat or to exercise. He just plants the idea of doing just that bit more...and enjoying it.

So here I am: not a poster girl for exercise or diet, just a bit more positive about my ability to work towards a happier, healthier me. Excuse me while I bask in the thrill of it all for a few minutes. Then I have to take a shower to get all the sweat off!

That Big Eater Colleague of Mine...and Fine Dining

I just wanted to add a little note about the colleague I was working with out of town a few days ago.

Two posts back, I mentioned what a big eater he was and that he didn't have to lose any weight. I take that back. He's starting to get a paunch. That's his business not mine.

And BTW, we didn't go out for a steak. We ate at a lovely restaurant near the smelly hotel where we had to stay. I had a scrumptious plate of mussels and half a glass of wine. My colleague did NOT have desert. I was surprised. Maybe even he felt that after all the food he'd eaten that day, there really was no room for dessert. I admit to being shocked, though.

After supper, I went for a beautiful walk and discovered a charming residential district, tucked in behind the strip malls, fast-food joints and (gotta say it again) smelly hotels.

Tomorrow night, I'll once again be at a hotel, but this time a Sheraton, right at Toronto International Airport. We're working late and starting early the next day, so the client is picking up the tab for a hotel room. It will be strange staying at a hotel with my family just a 40 minute drive away. But I need to be well rested for an early start the next day! Hopefully, the Sheraton serves oatmeal.

My Blog Roll!!

No, not my fat roll, or my egg roll...my blog roll!

I've been meaning to do this for awhile, but finally remembered to set it up when my resident computer expert (aka my hubby) was around and not too busy with other things. I just needed a push in the right direction (simple, just go to layout and follow the instructions) and voilà!, I now have a blog roll.

A blog roll makes you think about who you are. Why is A there, but not B? Why have I listed C when I really don't agree with a lot they have to say? How can I list A, B and C when D, E and F hold completely opposite points of view?

The answer is simple: I'm complicated and I'm contradictory, like most people.

Take a look at the list. You'll find blogs written by serious dieters, some just starting out (some starting out again), some well on their way to success, some struggling mightily. Then there are blogs by anti-dieters in the fatosphere, proponents of HAES (healthy at any size), people who have turned their backs on dieting and started living. Which way do I turn? It just depends on my mood, although as I learn to practise intuitive eating, it becomes harder and harder to overeat. Then again, overeating at my size is one extra bite (slap on hand, stop complaining!). Ha!

Ya Just Gotta Laugh!

Last night I drove to a medium-sized town in southern Ontario for a conference taking place today and tomorrow. I always check my route on Google maps and usually I find my way with little to no problem. Not yesterday.

Google maps totally screwed me up once I got into the town itself. After driving a fair distance in the wrong direction, I turned around and went back, past the turn-off and kept driving. Couldn't find the street, so I just stopped at someone's house and asked for directions. Yes, I was on the right road, so I kept going. Found the street I was looking for, turned in the correct direction and checked the street numbers. Yes, I was going in the right direction. Drove and drove until I saw a hotel I recognized from previous trips and pulled in there to again get directions. The nice lady at the counter confirmed that I'd gone too far. Turned around and went back. Drove and drove and still couldn't find the @$ hotel, though I knew I was on the right street. Turned around AGAIN and drove back. Still couldn't see the hotel, though I was driving slowly and it was fortunately still light out. Finally, stopped at a red light, I got the attention of the car beside me and asked the man if he knew where the hotel was. "Right behind you," says he. "Can't you see it?"

No, I couldn't see the hotel but I turned around and drove very, very slowly until I saw the hotel sign, VERY VERY high off the ground. There was actually nothing on the building itself to indicate that it was a hotel. The only sign on the building was the name of a restaurant, the Golden Griddle.

The entrance to the hotel said "Motel". Not even hotel, much less the name of the hotel.

OK.

So I checked in and drove around the back to be closer to my room, especially since I lug around yoga equipment if I go away for more than one day. BTW, I do what is fondly known as "furniture yoga"--technically Iyengar. I highly recommend it, especially for people with special needs such as myself. With Iyengar, you use lots of props if your body is unable to do certain poses to the full extent. See the photo above. I carry around two blocks, a yoga mat, a large bolster and one or two straps. Sounds vaguely kinky. LOL.

So I lug my suitcase full of blocks, straps and clothing plus my mat and bolster to the nearest entrance and...my key doesn't work. So then I lug everything to the next door and thank goodness, the key card works.

The hallway smells like sweat.

Fortunately, my room is decent. And I've got free internet.

This morning, I go the Golden Griddle for breakfast. I order one egg, toast and peameal bacon (in the States, you call it Canadian bacon). I am charged for two eggs, even though I only had one and refused the hash browns. Minimum charge is two eggs.

The meeting goes well and we're finished at lunch time. We drive downtown for lunch. Without going into detail, the waiters were charmingly incompetent. Service glitches abounded.

Food digression: PORTION SIZES! Unreal! This morning I left the hotel restaurant with a peameal bacon sandwich made of leftovers from my breakfast. I had to throw it out since I don't have a fridge at the hotel. Same for lunch. A small bowl of soup and half a grilled veggie wrap are more than enough for me. Now the other half of my wrap is sitting here in my room on the table and I'm not sure I should eat it for supper since it sat in the hot car for awhile after lunch. Half the weight problems in our society have to do with the unreal portion sizes they serve at restaurants!! People are set up to get fat!!

The colleague I'm working with today doesn't need to lose a pound. He probably should do some exercise to tone up a bit, but he has no weight problem. This morning he polished off three eggs, bacon, toast and a piece of tomato. At lunch he had a large bowl of pasta-laden soup and a huge dish of Thai stir-fry. In an hour, at 6 p.m., he'll call my room to ask if I want to go to a steak house for supper. If I do go, it will only be for a salad. He'll have his steak meal and order dessert. I know. We work together out of town frequently. Life just ain't fair. Sigh.

So that's been my day, here in southern Ontario.

Ya just gotta laugh!

P.S. When I left the restaurant with my 1/2 a wrap, there was a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk with his hand out for money. I don't give to everyone, but whenever I see someone like that the mom in me sees the little baby he/she once was and my heart is heavy. Anyway, I politely asked him if he'd like my wrap. It was fresh and very tasty. He politely refused. He wanted money--to buy some pop because it was a really hot day. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he was lying. I did give him 50 cents though. Too bad he didn't take the wrap though. He missed out on something yummy and healthy too.

Fear

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

-a quote from FDR's first inaugural address

I'm sure many of you have read this before, but after my mini-fear fest yesterday and Jack Sh*t's gentle response, the above quote suddenly came to mind this morning.

I got on the @$# scale this morning and found that I had neither gained nor lost over the last few weeks. Yes, the last time I weighed myself (3 weeks ago?), I had gained about a 1/2 kilo or so but since then, nothing's changed. It was the right thing to weigh myself, rather than obsess about the unknown.

I still think that there are many more worthwhile things for me to be concerned with and to talk about, but sometimes you just have to get a load (or a kilo) off your chest.

There, that feels better!

Feeling a Wee, Tiny Bit Bad About Myself

The ever hysterical Jack Sh*t is challenging us to a half-pound duel. His challenge went out yesterday: lose a whopping half-pound in one week! The audacity of it!

I love reading Jack's blog because he puts a really funny spin on weight loss. He's not Mr. Yeah Hooray today and Mr. Doom and Gloom tomorrow, depending on what the scale says. I like that man.

But Jack's got me feeling a little, wee tiny bit bad about myself.

When first I started this blog, I wrote about myself and my personal struggles. Then, I started moving into more philosophical terrain--food and society, attitudes toward health, food, goodness, badness. I like the idea of discussing the big questions rather than beating myself up about what I ate, or even celebrating that hard-lost pound, yet here I am, talking about Jack's challenge and how it's sort of shaken me up.

I am not taking the challenge, at least not this week. I am quite sure that I have gained at least a kilo over the last few weeks but I have made a pact with myself not to get on the scale for at least another week.

For the past 2 years or so, I have been using a bio-identical progesterone cream, under a doctor's supervision. However, recently, I started questioning the results of the twice yearly blood tests, especially since a saliva test (suggested by my naturopath) to measure my hormones came up with some numbers that were the exact opposite of what the doctor was telling me. I just wasn't feeling good about this doctor anymore and in the meantime, my periods started going crazy--I was having one every two weeks!

So I trundled off to my GP, who recommended that I get off the cream and let my body go back to its natural hormone levels. I feel much relieved to be doing this. There is much to be said for bio-identical creams, but if you don't feel right about the doctor, it's not going to work out. Unfortunately, I believe that the doctor I was seeing is the only one in town who prescribes such creams. Hopefully, I'll be able to find another one eventually whom I really feel I can trust.

It's now been 27 days since my last period, so something might happen in the next few days. For now, I just don't know. If I am going to get my period, this is definitely not the time to be weighing myself. God knows how much water I could be retaining.

A little voice inside me is saying that all this breast-beating might just be the hormones talking...

So Jack, forgive me if I don't take up the challenge and everyone, thanks for listening.

How the Foodmakers Captured Our Brains

I've been reading Mark Bittman's book, "Food Matters", for the last few days. I bought it for my husband, so technically it's his and I shouldn't be highlighting passages and putting exclamation marks in the margins--however, that's really what I want to do. I've got to start sticking post-its beside all the important passages, though I fear that the book will be one giant post-it when I'm done.

I'm not ready to write my review yet, but I promise it's coming soon.

In the meantime, here's an article from the New York Times that's a must-read. I know I've mentioned the topic before, but some things are just worth repeating. Here's a rather long excerpt from the NYT article:

In “The End of Overeating,” Dr. Kessler finds some similarities in the food industry, which has combined and created foods in a way that taps into our brain circuitry and stimulates our desire for more.

When it comes to stimulating our brains, Dr. Kessler noted, individual ingredients aren’t particularly potent. But by combining fats, sugar and salt in innumerable ways, food makers have essentially tapped into the brain’s reward system, creating a feedback loop that stimulates our desire to eat and leaves us wanting more and more even when we’re full.

Dr. Kessler isn’t convinced that food makers fully understand the neuroscience of the forces they have unleashed, but food companies certainly understand human behavior, taste preferences and desire. In fact, he offers descriptions of how restaurants and food makers manipulate ingredients to reach the aptly named “bliss point.” Foods that contain too little or too much sugar, fat or salt are either bland or overwhelming. But food scientists work hard to reach the precise point at which we derive the greatest pleasure from fat, sugar and salt.

The result is that chain restaurants like Chili’s cook up “hyper-palatable food that requires little chewing and goes down easily,” he notes. And Dr. Kessler reports that the Snickers bar, for instance, is “extraordinarily well engineered.” As we chew it, the sugar dissolves, the fat melts and the caramel traps the peanuts so the entire combination of flavors is blissfully experienced in the mouth at the same time.

More and more, I'm coming to view the "fat epidemic", or whatever you want to call it, as a societal issue. Yes, it does come to down to what you choose to eat, when you choose to eat it, how much of it you choose to eat. But the frontier mentality--I can do it on my own and I don't need (or deserve) any help--keeps us in a world that condones such things as advertising that encourages us to stuff ourselves on fake food. Has anyone noticed the Dairy Queen ad where the kids run a clip about some incredible, sweet and cold concoction that DQ is now featuring just as their mom (who's more than moderately overweight) walks in the room? Suddenly Mom is suggesting a trip to DQ. Then the boys talk about the cheeseburger clip they've prepared for when dad's around. It disgusts me. We, as a society, have to put our foot down and stop falling for the lies and disinformation.

As you know, I believe in a bit of sugar, now and then, a good French baguette, a beautiful, runny Brie cheese. I believe in real, beautiful food and pretty much everything (except cocaine LOL) in moderation. But being bombarded with crap masquerading as food--to that I say NO!